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I made the decision to move back to KL last year today, so it’s been a year since I last saw you. It was that night when you left me alone to pack, and I thought I didn’t matter to you enough for you to say goodbye to. But then I texted you, and you came and you told me you hated goodbyes. And then we sat on the couch, me lying in your arms, wondering what lies in our future and listening to Roxette’s “It must have been love”.

It felt like a movie moment.

The next day I nearly missed my flight. I called you, but you told me you had just had sex with some guy’s girlfriend in your empty apartment among the boxes you packed to be shipped off to Manila.

I admit it turned me on. But it made me slightly upset. But I never judged you so I won’t start then.

A few months ago you were in KL for work. We had the chance to meet, but we didn’t.
I didn’t really want to see you, and I’m sure you weren’t excited to see me too.
I was afraid, I didn’t know if I was ready to face you again.

A lot of people told me maybe we were meant to be together. But to me you’ve been my best friend.

You were there during all my troubled times. When my boyfriend broke up with me through the phone, it was you who held me up. When my supervising producer gave my show to another producer it was you who waited for me at home. When my dad was sick and dying you asked me if I wanted to talk about it or celebrate my birthday party, coz you’d be there for me regardless of my decision.
Without judging me.

When I backpacked in the States alone to find my missing soul you worried for me, and when I took the wrong train and ended up in the Bronx at nightfall in my little pink dress it was you that I called when I got back into my hostel safely.

And now a year later, I don’t even know where you are - who you’re dating, or if you’re even happy or sad. But I’ll always remember you, and I’ll always remember us.

And you’ll always be, and I quote you “a piece de resistance” of my memories.

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